You mad or nah?

So, You mad or nah is the question I had to ask myself on yesterday. Yesterday I had a great day, for the most part at least. I was being positive and productive. I was consciously controlling how I felt and how I responded to things. I had pretty much made it through the entire work day when a small, unimportant situation made me lose my cool briefly. I mean, I almost made it through the work day. I was about 20 minutes shy of making it. Within those last moments, I allowed the simple words of someone to take me to a not so happy place. I wasn't angry at the person, I was more upset that the person was speaking on something that wasn't completely untrue. For some reason, it bothers me when people indirectly instigate situations and make it worse on "victims" without even knowing it. You see, I was once guilty of this all the time. I didn't realize that our unintentional words or our inappropriate or unnecessary responses could hurt or offend someone else. When I realized how I was hurting and destroying people, I made a conscious effort to think before I speak and respond only when necessary.

"Are you big mad or are you little mad?"

But anyways, back to the point of my post. So, basically, I was upset because the person, who is younger than myself, began to discuss a situation that she didn't know the full story of. I quickly became agitated because the person didn't realize that they were indirectly instigating the situation, which was making it unnecessarily worse for someone who didn't deserve the unfair treatment. I tried to explain the situation, while not disclosing any confidential information, but it was only getting worse. I must admit that I allowed my agitation to get the best of me and I "sort of" raised my voice. I wanted the person to know that they were being immature and instigating a situation that didn't need any more parties or drama involved. I think I got my point across, but the delivery was horrible.

Immediately after, I realized that I needed to stop allowing the learning curves of other people to affect me. I need to learn to control myself when I'm becoming agitated. I do that often. I allow simple things to get under my skin. Before you know it, my skin is boiling and I am like a tiger ready to attack. It shouldn't be that way though. People are entitled to say and do as they please. Who am I to stop them from saying what they want or feel? And besides, there is always a more subtle and polite way to deal with the situation. Looking back, I should have either ignored the situation and allowed the person to misspeak or to address it when I wasn't agitated. In life we have to learn to control our responses even when we aren't calm. A wrong response can destroy a person, ruin relationships, or even make a situation much worse.

So, as I journey to become a better me, I will learn to control my responses when I am angered or agitated. I will no longer allow a person's words or actions to push me over the top. I encourage you to do the same. When you feel you blood rising ask yourself, are you mad or nah? Then, respond appropriately.